Where Did Your Values Go Missy?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single woman in possession of no class must be in want of a man…any man

I thoroughly enjoy going out and simply marveling at human behaviour – I enjoy trying to figure out the dynamics of peoples relationships. I look at the facade so carefully crafted to be allowed into a social environment. You can tell little nuances that give your insight into what’s really going on with people by simply taking the time and observing.

But no behaviour fascinates me as much as women trying to gain the attention of “eligible” bachelors. (Eligible is used loosely here)

Maybe its desperation or maybe it’s just simply not caring, but lately as the going gets tough and the eggs get old, women get brazen.

I’m yet to feel my womb cry or any sort of maternal instinct for that matter. But I have been down that road. It seems women have a much more difficult journey when faced with the real challenge of trying to balance work and traditional responsibilities/expectations.

If you are a woman that is career/goal-oriented, this may sound familiar to you. You go to school, do the right thing, pass and go through to work and begin your career or you choose to study. All of a sudden, you get to a point one day where you realise that everyone around you has managed to get hitched and have their family. Then it dawns on you: all your boxes are ticked except one, it just happens to be big and red and hanging over your head every time someone asks you if you’re seeing someone.

“Are you seeing someone yet?” becomes the root of all your fears – you avoid all known question offenders like the plague. Every time you hear those words, the muscles surrounding the pits of your stomach all contract at once. Your palms sweat and your heart rate increases just a little.

 And when you utter your answer “No” (which just happens to be the same answer you give the same person every time they ask you) – all your shame and anxiety about not contributing to the human race comes out, in that answer, you are faced with your only possible inadequacy.

I wonder if these people (the serial-question-askers) have ever bothered to really sit down and compare you to some of the other women (who seem to be ahead of you only because they are married) if they are happy? And if they did ask them, I’m sure they’d say that they’d wish they’d focused more on their career… *wishful thinking*

Panic stricken, you start trying to deal with the reality that you may be the only woman in the world that this has ever happened to? (But you are not and there’s proof in those horror stories of people single and turning 40). People may try and offer you comfort by saying that they know someone who managed to get married at 50 and she’s really happy… (I should bloody well hope so)

I’m sure you’ve even had a freak out moment when you wonder – what if all the good ones are gone. I’m going to have to marry someone who’s 100 or has one ball, or has a social disorder or doesn’t work and sits on the couch the whole day eating lays and watching Dr. Phil,  or what if he’s in another country? (I’m too realistic to believe that fate extends across borders) OR what if it’s a disastrous combination of all of the above? *silent sobs*

Anyway, any women “getting on” in her years (I’m 23 by the way, I use the term “getting on” loosely) shares similar fears. So what do they do?

They start grasping at straws, or anything with hair and a husky voice. It’s actually quite disgusting, I’ve seen women deliberately rubbing themselves against “eligible” men’s backs (yes, back as in where the spine is), and that’s not the worst part. I have seen with my own eyes (even though they burned after), a woman grab a man’s crotch, I suppose she felt that it was acceptable because she was drunk.

The worst part is, women who behave in this manner are not the ugly ones – you would expect it from someone whose face looked like ass – but no, these were beautiful, above average women just selling themselves short because they are getting on in years and feel that they need to find a husband.
I just wonder to myself, what would your mother think of you?

Where did your values go Missy??